The Oaxaca Project

Josue is a new youngster in the hospital. He has been grumpy, angry, sad and upset for the past few days. So much so that I didn’t feel like I could approach him except to say hello.

Josue being introduced to Tappy

Till and I were giving out TappyBears (thanks to the donations). I came up to Josue to ask if he’d like one. As his curiosity was peaked by watching the other children receive theirs, he said yes. I sat down and showed him Tappy. I went through the points and tapped for him on Tappy. I tapped how he was a good boy, very handsome, intelligent, wonderful. That got him to smile. I tapped that he didn’t have to be angry cuz he was a wonderful young boy. We could take all that angry and throw it away. He could be happy and get better. He watched me, smiled and even laughed.

As I was tapping and his son began to smile, his father repeatedly stated with such joy in his eyes that he’s been trying to get Josue to smile for 3 days but couldn’t because he was so angry. He repeated how happy he was to see his son smile.

When I walked away, I turned around and saw that the father had taken Tappy, was leaning down close to his son, and tapping on his son then on Tappy saying phrases similar to those I used. There was deep joy in both of them.

Josue and Dad Tapping

This story is an example of what these donations are helping bring about. Once again, I send my heartfelt thanks to those who have donated to the Kids with Cancer Project. Your donations have made so much more possible in this project that brings out my passion and love for children.

Here’s a kiss from Josue

Josue blows you a kiss

I would like to extend my deepest gratitude to Nick, Jessica, Alex and Martin Ortner for choosing my project with the Kids with Cancer in Oaxaca as the recipient of their heart-felt desire to be of service. The results are beginning to come in already.

I give my deepest gratitude to all of you who were inspired to donate to the Project. You are the ones who have made what it possible for me to touch even more children and families. Thank you! My desire is that all of you are blessed at least a 1000 fold for your support of these children and me.

I would like to share a few examples of how your support has already helped many children.

1. Now I can walk into the hospital and immediately give a TappyBear to a child who would love to have one to use while tapping. It is the greatest sensation knowing that the child receives this loving gift along with the ability to tap. Before I had to tell the children they could be included in a “raffle” in order to “win” a Tappy. It was the only way I could think to make it fair as each child wanted their own Tappy. To be a “winner” felt like a good option when having a limited supply of Tappys to donate.

2. I am able to set up private tapping sessions with some of the families with a child with cancer. Out of the hospital setting the families have more privacy in which to share the deeper issues going on in their families. This allows me to help them remove deeper emotional root causes of what has transpired and influenced the health of the child and family.

3. . More videos and photos have been taken to help document the tapping work with the children.

4. As a result of Till’s arrival in the hospital to help me give out Tappys, the Director of the hospital opened his doors to us for a conversation. It may lead to the opportunity for me to teach others what I do and to set up a research project to document what I’m doing.

To all who have donated now or in the past. I appreciate you so very much too.
That’s just the beginning. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
Love
Deborah

When I walked into the cancer area I could see Alejandra with tears in her eyes. The nurse said they were about to put in an IV. Alejandra’s experience of this process is one of pain and she doesn’t want to experience this pain again.

I asked the nurse if she would wait until I worked with Alejandra and she said yes. I appreciate the nurse’s patience and her desire that by releasing the fear Alejandra has that hopefully the experience would be better for them all. It is not pleasant for the nurses to put in the IV when it is a painful and difficult process for the child.

I sat down next to Alejandra. I asked her what she felt about them putting in the IV. It was fear. We tapped on the fear of the IV, of it hurting, that it was always painful, that the nurses poked her many times. The fear was in her heart and chest. We tapped until she didn’t feel that fear because she could imagine taking that fear out of her heart and chest. I continued by tapping on the power she has over what happens to her body especially when she “talks” to her body about what she would like:
– to feel calm even when an IV is put in
– to get better and heal completely
– that it would be easy to find a vein and it would easily stay open

I asked her what animal makes her feel good. It was a rabbit. She always felt calm around them. We tapped about how good she feels when she focuses on the rabbits.

I had her next imagine going into the treatment room and the nurse getting the needles ready. Again the fear returned to her chest. We tapped until she calmed again. When I asked again what she was afraid of it was the needle itself. We tapped until she didn’t feel afraid to think about the needle.

At this point she could imagine going into the treatment room without fear. We then moved to the treatment room and she was still calm. I told her to tell me the second she felt any fear. She stayed calm until the nurse actually poked through her skin. Alejandra felt pain and screamed. I stayed at her side and continued to tap and tap and tap. She would calm some, then get agitated, then calm.

Unfortunately, this vein broke so it was necessary to look for another. This is a common experience for Alejandra. I continued to tap, but had her focus on the rabbits, while tapping that even her veins were going to cooperate to make this a better experience.

As the nurse looked for and found another vein, I continued to tap on Alejandra. She was still upset, but the tapping continued to calm her. I continued to tap and at one point I said: “If I don’t want to be poked anymore then it is time to heal so I don’t have to be.” Alejandra’s eyes opened wide almost as if it hadn’t occurred to her that healing her body would stop the need to be poked. This was an important moment for Alejandra to have that insight.

I continued to tap that she can heal and she can ask her body to heal. This time the vein was good, the blood sample was taken, there was no pain, and before Alejandra knew it, she was all finished.

Was this a completely painless experience? No, but it was very different from what Alejandra normally experiences. Many times the nurse must poke her up to 5 times to get a good vein. Thus, the experience is stressful for Alejandra and for the nurses. This time it was calmer and the second vein opened so easily and without pain.

I told Alejandra that we didn’t get it without pain the first time but the continued tapping and desire for it to be easy let the next one be without so much better. Sometimes it requires that we practice tapping.

A few days later she had another IV put in when I was not present. I checked with the nurse (a different one than the day I did tap) and she told me that Alejandra was much calmer than usual after I shared with her what had occurred in our tapping session.

My point is that sometimes we must persist in our tapping and visualizing. Alejandra has many many experiences where putting in an IV is painful. Showing her that tapping a few times will allow her to reduce that fear and pain will help her understand that she will be able to create a completely new experience. She likes that very much.

It’s here! The teleclass series I gave on Helping Kids with Cancer. If you want to learn more about how I’ve worked with the kids, parents, interns and doctors, these four classes will help you do so.

It is such an honor to work with these children and now to help others in similar situations manage their emotions while helping a loved one with cancer.

Working with the kids with cancer has been one of the most incredible experiences of my life. It has changed me, stimulated growth and maturation, and transformed me. These amazing young teachers have opened my heart in ways I never thought possible. I never dreamed of going into a hospital to work with kids with cancer, never in my wildest dreams. Yet, working with them has created a passion to serve, to care, to help, and to love that goes to the core of my being. I have become gentler, more understanding and more compassionate with everyone who comes into contact with me because of my experience working with these children.

These young teachers have helped me step up to another level, to become more than I was and to continue to learn and strive to step up even more, way beyond what I thought possible. Who would have thought it would be possible to do EFT inside a hospital cancer wing in the treatment room during spinal taps, on gurneys before surgeries, at their bedside and in the waiting area? These young teachers have taught me lessons about being strong, showing a good face, being brave and even when it is necessary to crawl into a fetal position to protect yourself. These children have inspired me to dig deeper, find what simple little tapping sequences, words and images help them release fears, traumas and pains, as well as step up, choose to heal, and empower themselves. It is a collaborative effort as I could not do what I’m doing without them. We have come together to learn and grow together. They inspire me daily. They touch my heart deeply, these beautiful souls who I’ve come to love deeply and appreciate beyond words.

I’ve had every emotion possible since I began working with these children. Anything from sadness about seeing children with such terrible illnesses, shame for my own weaknesses, anger at the brutality of our current treatments, frustration and irritation when I don’t know how to reach a child, helplessness when a child is hurting or leaving body and I couldn’t seem to find the key to help them feel better, to despair at the loss of my favorite children as they had become dear friends. I’ve managed to do a lot of tapping on my own issues around working with these children. It has been crucial. I went in with a naivety about “let’s see what happens” to falling in love with the children and becoming so passionate about this work, to deep sobs of anguish, frustration and feelings that I had failed one I cared for because I couldn’t step up and had backed away because of my own fears of going deeper into the emotions of seeing death in front of me, then losing that dear child. I’ve called upon friends to tap with me when I couldn’t deal with the grief of that loss while knowing that I needed to move through the standard 13 months of grief in a few hours or days because more children were in the hospital waiting for me to help them. I had to step up and move on, remember deeply her presence in my life, take what I learned with her, and apply it more profoundly with the ones that remained and were calling out for my guidance.

I’ve felt absolute joy, delight, pleasure, peace and pure love as I interact with these children on a daily basis. We have FUN feeling better, while learning how to feel better, learning that it’s ok to feel better, while choosing to feel good and to heal. The peels of laughter that come as we tap, visualize and joke around fill the hospital room with the delight of life. That is pure healing in my eyes. Seeing each moment of that joy knowing that it has improved the quality of life of some young child, their parent, a nurse observing us, is something that profoundly moves me. To be part of that depth of choice, of transformation is a personal blessing that fills my heart to the brim. Learning that one of my favorite kids has taken what I taught him home with him, continues to apply it on a daily basis and then taught his whole family and friends to tap with him thereby creating his own healing community reminds me of how gracefully children pick up and use what they know in their hearts works for them. I never realized how touching the life of one child could change so many until the day I learned what this child had done. I know now that many of these children go home and teach their friends and family to tap with them. They are improving the quality of life of many more people than I could even have imagined when I first stepped into the hospital and because of it, I see the greater purpose of the illness in their lives.

My dream is to share with the world what I’ve experienced and learned with the children and their families because I would love to see more and more children heal of their emotional wounds, the ones that are the beginning of these illnesses. I would love each inner child part within all of us adults to heal alongside these children like mine has. I would love to know that each person is empowered to choose to feel good, be happy and live life filled with love.

I’ve shared only a small portion of what I’ve experienced with these beautiful children and their families. I’ve done so to give you an idea of how far reaching a simple intention to help and be of service can expand when you listen to the inspiration in your heart and take the first step. It ripples out from there with every subsequent step you take until something so amazing has transpired that you stand in awe of it all.

Interacting with the doctors has been a different journey than with the kids. Although Dr Quero, the head oncologist, has from the very beginning been very open to the work I do with EFT, usually the doctors are a little reserved or skeptical. Even though Dr Quero was observing results in the children and parents it was months before he actually tried EFT with me. When he did try it, he found it very relaxing and refreshing. He recommends that the use of EFT be continued in the hospital and hopes that other hospitals will do the same soon.

The hospital where I volunteer is a teaching hospital so there are many interns and residents rotating through the oncology area. When the opportunity arises I show them EFT. In fact, many of them have enjoyed amazing results in releasing their own tensions and worries about their exams, injecting a child, taking blood samples in a way that doesn’t stress or harm the child and their personal issues. As a doctor in training it is valuable to have tools to manage your own stress and that of your patient. It will make the experience of being a doctor more gratifying.

With other doctors, we just joke about tapping, in particular those who have yet to seriously try EFT, but I know it is an opening for them to experience it too. Several of the doctors are using EFT on a regular basis to reduce their personal and work-related stresses with great success.

I appreciate the opportunity to work in the hospital alongside the doctors who dedicate their lives to these children with cancer. As more doctors experience EFT and observe how it is complementary to their work more patients will benefit from this supportive technique.

One of the best things I ever did when I entered the hospital as a volunteer is I made immediate contact with the nurses. I felt that since the nurses are the caretakers that are constantly with the children that it would be beneficial for them to know about the EFT technique I would be using, especially since it involved tapping on the face and body and working with a stuffed Teddy bear.

That first day the head nurse got a small group of nurses together and I had the opportunity to share with them what EFT is, how to use it, why it feels good, and best of all tap with them. We had a lot of fun tapping and releasing the stress and tension they felt while going about their duties.

The lovely connection made that day has continued. Those very nurses are the ones that are my best allies. They look for me, ask me to work with certain children who are struggling, tell me when new children arrive, ask me to tap with a child who has a difficult time when an IV is put in, and even ask the attendants to wait before taking a child to surgery so that I can tap with him or her. It has made it so much easier for me to incorporate into the activities in the cancer unit.

As the nurses rotate every so often, I’ve been able to introduce EFT to more and more nurses. On occasion I gather a group of nurses into a room and we tap together. It may be 5-10 minutes but it is enough to release the stress they feel. They can then go about their work refreshed and content. In fact, many find a quiet corner to tap while at work to release their stresses so they can continue to lovingly work with their patients.

I am so appreciative of the nurses who recognize the benefit of the work I’m doing with tapping, not only for the kids and families but also for themselves. I honor them deeply for their dedication to helping these children heal.

I would like to share the overall steps that I’ve taken that have helped me be successful at incorporating into the hospital setting and doing emotional healing work that is complementary to that of the medical treatments the children receive.

1. Volunteer at a Kids with Cancer fundraiser.
This was the beginning, the opportunity or spark that caught my attention and my heart. Working that first day with EFT, TappyBear and a few children with cancer touched me deeply and called me to go to the hospital and do EFT there.

2. Connection made with Head Oncologist.
This was the next important step. Connecting with Dr Quero, the head Oncologist, allowed me the opportunity to do EFT in the hospital. His openness and understanding that children with cancer need more than physical treatments created the opportunity for me to partner with him and the nursing and medical staff on the emotional and spiritual aspects of healing in these children.

3. Introduction to Head Nurse and her Staff.
Connecting with the day to day caretakers of the children was an extremely important step. By sharing with the nurses what I would be doing and tapping with them so they could experience EFT, allowed them to trust me and have a personal experience with how it feels to release emotional stress. Doing so created an alliance between the nurses and myself geared toward helping the children feel better; our shared goal.

4. Introduce EFT to the kids as “Magic Fingers” or with “TappyBear.
This step is “Key” in that the major reason I’m doing EFT in the hospital is for the kids. My goal is to help them feel better, have tools that they can use with me or on their own that allow them to deal with the emotions that arise from being ill especially with a serious illness like cancer. The way in which I introduce EFT varies depending on the child. I use the concept of “Magic Fingers” for those who like to know that they have the power in their own fingertips to feel better. I use TappyBear, a stuff bear with the tapping points on his body, to make connection with the children. He is soft and gentle looking and helps them think of me in the same way. TappyBear is a beautiful reminder for them to tap on their own.

The tapping journey with these children is ongoing, shifting all the time to fit the needs of each child in order to help them in the moment, and create methods for them to empower themselves and choose to heal.

Thanks to Till Schilling who has so graciously provided me with many TappyBears to donate to the children. Till and TappyBear

5. Introduce EFT to the parents.
Another essential step is that I introduce EFT to the parents to help them reduce the enormous stress and anxiety they feel around their child having a serious illness and all it implies. My goal is to give them tools they can use on themselves to reduce their stresses and manage the emotions.

6. Have kids and parents tap together.
Another goal is to provide the parents with resources which they can use with their child who is ill instead of sitting by feeling helpless. It allows both the child and parent to feel empowered and actively participate in the healing process. I encourage the parents to tap with their child as it creates a bond and a positive interaction between them.

7. Introduce EFT to the Interns, Residents and doctors.
Introducing EFT to the medical staff helps them understand how I can work alongside them in a complementary way. It also helps them learn a tool to reduce their own stresses related to working with children with cancer. It creates a team spirit between us.

8. Filming my EFT work in the hospital.
I was blessed to have Eric Huure come to the hospital to film me working with the kids. He created a beautiful video made of me utilizing EFT in the hospital. This video is helping me show others what is possible. The Oaxaca Project – Giving hope to kids with cancer

9. Created Oaxaca Project Blog.
The Oaxaca Project Blog was created to help me share my experience with others who have a child with cancer, those who care deeply about children with cancer and EFT practitioners who would like to do something similar to what I’m doing. It is a tool to help me disseminate the power of using EFT in a complementary way in a hospital.

10. Give radio interviews and free teleseminars about EFT and Kids with Cancer.
Sharing what I’ve experienced and learned is now an important goal of mine. I have learned so much while doing EFT with these children, their parents, the nurses and medical staff. I feel it is time that others benefit from my knowledge and experience.

11. Teach others how to do what I’m doing.
My goal is now to continue creating materials that will support the kids, the parents, the nursing and medical staff and the EFT practitioners and volunteers who would like to help children with cancer improve the quality of their lives. My goal is to give teleseminars, group Tapping sessions for parents, workshops, individual sessions and be a consultant to support those who will benefit from my experience and passion for helping children with cancer.
Contact me for more information.

Young Martha, a 12 year old girl, was sitting in waiting room chair with her mom at her side. I could see that both of them were apprehensive. Understandably so because they were heading to Mexico City for further tests to find out if the brain tumor Martha has is benign or malignant.

This is the first time I met Martha as she is new to this hospital. I told Martha that I could teach her a technique to help her feel better. I said it was powerful yet a little silly. She brightened immediately. I told her to tap along with me and she did.

I started with some simple phrases:
Even though I have this illness, I’m a good girl.
Even though I have this tumor, I’m a wonderful young woman.
Even though I have this tumor, I’m a smart, bright and beautiful young lady.

Just tapping these phrases on the Karate Chop point brought smiles to her face.
Then I moved onto the tapping points. I’ll summarize with the overall phrases we used.

I have a tumor and I don’t like it.
I have a tumor in my head.
I’m a good girl even if I have a tumor.
I hate this tumor sometimes.

(I stopped to ask her if she felt that sometimes and she said yes).

I don’t have to hate it.
I can love it instead.
That would help it heal more than hating it.
It is part of me.
The tumor is part of me.
It is made up of my cells.
It is made up of the cells in my body.
Hating the tumor is like hating me.
I don’t want to hate a part of myself.

(Her eyes opened wide when she said this phrase as she had never thought of her tumor this way before.)

I’d like to forgive myself for hating my tumor and instead send it good wishes to heal.
I would rather love it and send it love.
I would rather send it so much love that it can heal.
Love is the strongest thing there is.
I want my tumor to feel better.
Yes, sometimes I hate it and want it to go away.
But I’d rather love it and help it get better that way.
I want it to go away because I love all of myself.
Love is very strong and powerful in helping my tumor heal.

I asked her to take a moment, close her eyes, ask her tumor why it was there and what caused it to form. She closed her eyes for about 20 seconds focusing in on what her tumor could “tell her”, then stated frankly that her tumor said it was because she was stressed and angry a lot. Notice that focusing in on the part of the body that is “ill” or “hurting” can often allow for underlying causes for a problem to surface. We tapped:

Even though I have this anger and stress, I’m a good girl.
Even tho I held onto this anger and stress for a long time, I can get rid of it.
I don’t have to hold onto that anger and stress, because I love myself.

I asked Martha how she could imagine that she could get rid of the anger and stress. She wanted to burn it in a big fire.

I don’t need this anger and stress.
I throw it in the fire.
I let it all burn up.
I don’t need it anymore.
I burn up all of it.

She was positively shining as she felt she was getting rid of these emotions. I added another part to the tapping to get rid of the anger and stress.

I thank my tumor for holding all the anger and stress in one place.
I appreciate it for doing that for me.
Tumor you don’t have to hold onto it anymore.
You can throw all the anger and stress you are holding into the fire and let it burn.
We burn it all up together.

She was all smiles. I asked Martha to close her eyes and imagine her tumor again. How did it look now? It was a round white ball with feet and arms. Before tapping it was ugly and black. Isn’t it wonderful how tapping allows one to shift one’s perspective about a tumor so easily?

She wanted to know if she could heal these emotions if she could heal faster. I asked her what she thought. She thought yes. We discussed how doctors observe that patients who are happy and have a positive attitude usually have a stronger immune system, which allows their body to heal easier.

She wanted to know if EFT could get rid of sadness too. I said yes. I recommended that she take specific events that had made her angry, stressed and sad and tap on them. I told her, “I know that you know what bothers you.” She nodded yes. She gave me a big smile with eyes shining with hope that she can make changes in her life that will help her heal.

One short EFT session with Martha has changed her outlook. It has changed the way she thinks about her tumor. It has helped her have a tool to manage her emotions and choose to heal.

I enjoyed tapping with her so much knowing that this was an instant in her life that may change her life forever for the better.

After Daniel’s father learned EFT there was a significant difference in the way he felt.

Instead of being anxious and frustrated that there is not much he can do for his son suffering from recurring tumors, he is calm, relaxed and smiles a lot. Now he taps to feel better himself and he taps along with his son so that he feels better.

This shift in attitude has allowed him to give his son what he so desired: to be closer to his father.

Daniel gave me the biggest smile today when we talked about the change in his father.