The Oaxaca Project

As soon as Asuncion saw me by the door he reached for TappyBear with a big smile on his face. This 2 years old associates me with TappyBear too.

After only 2 weeks of having his own Tappy, he has started to do a variety of things that are fascinating. He uses a pencil to “inject” Tappy. He bandages him in the same way he is bandaged. He pointed out all of Tappys buttons indicating to me that he knows where to tap. He told me all about Tappy’s bodily functions. Of course, in 2 year old gibberish, but it was so obvious what he was trying to tell me.

In this case, Tappy not only helps Asuncion by being his “tapping” buddy, but also allows him to role play what is occurring to him, which in turn helps him accept and understand his treatments.

Asuncion and Tappy

There are particular items that commonly frighten the parents and Kids with cancer.

Here are 3 major ones.
1. Going to the hospital
Being in the hospital itself reminds the child and parent of the illness they are dealing with. In many instances the child is resistant to going to the hospital and may even cause arguments. Parents too can feel the stress of being in the hospital. For both, being at home feels “normal” but in the hospital you can’t deny that there is a problem. It is even painted on the wall “Oncology” to remind one of what is really going on.

2. Another child passes on
The child wonders if he/she will be next and the parents worry that their child will be next.

A child passing on reminds one of the fragility of the life. For example, one child got a fever and passed on in 3 days. The other parents and children are affected by this experience because they know that it “could” happen to them that quickly too. In another example, a child suffered for months before passing. This too causes worry and stress in the child and parents as no one wants to suffer or watch someone suffer when they are living and less so when they are dying.

3. Losing their Hair
It is traumatic for child and parent to see clumps of hair falling out after chemo treatments. It is a dramatic sign that this is about cancer. There is no denying the look of someone with what I’ll call “chemo hair”. Once it all falls out including eyelashes and eyebrows the child is “marked” as a child with cancer. For some children it makes going out in public embarrassing. It means people may stare or ask questions. Even acquaintances will “know” something is wrong with you.

Ways to Release these Fears
In all of these cases, I use EFT to help the children and parents release these fears and anxieties. (EFT is explained on my website Emotional Freedom Techniques) I also help them reframe the experiences. Let me give you an example for each.

1. Going to the hospital
Use EFT on the individual emotional fears that come up since the reason to be frightened of the hospital for each person will vary. It could be:
The hospital itself or what it represents (illness)
Not understanding the doctor
Being afraid of needles and being poked many times
Feeling powerless while waiting in the hospital
Thinking about illness the whole time in the hospital

Instill new beliefs:
It’s ok to ask questions in order to understand the treatments
The hospital is a place of healing not illness – as a road to healing
Let’s choose to focus is on something positive while in hospital

2. Another child passes on
Tap on the fear of dying, on being next, fear of unknown, fear of loss of child, fear of knowing another child passed on

Instill new beliefs:
Just because one child passed on, it doesn’t mean that we’ll be next. Each child (or adult) has their own experience and timeline.
Let’s choose to use this experience as an opportunity to focus on my desire to heal.

3. Losing their Hair
Tap on the emotions associated with losing one’s hair: the image, the stares, the desire to hide, feeling ugly, not feeling beautiful

Instill new beliefs:
Let’s choose to use this experience as an opportunity to accept that my true beauty comes from within.

As one helps the child and parent release these fears, their quality of life improves.

Yes, the Tappys I use in the hospital get bathed on a regular basis.

I shared with Till Schilling, Founder of TappyBear, how I wash the Tappys.

Click here to find out how: Tappys Take a Bath

Tappy Takes a Bath

Click here to donate a Tappy to a deserving child: Donate a Tappy

Jonathan was a young man of 15 years when I met him in the hospital. He hardly spoke to anyone. He was angry, frustrated and disgusted with the world so he closed himself off into his own world of misery, the pain and suffering of leukemia.

I volunteer my knowledge of EFT or Tapping in a children’s cancer ward in a hospital. Even though Jonathan rarely talked to me, I would come by, talk to him, do surrogate EFT for him while he watched me or on rare occasion participated. One of his sisters and I would do surrogate tapping for Jonathan. She told me that Jonathan’s father had died when he was eight. He was basically home alone as his mother had to leave the house to work to take care of her eight children.

One Friday Jonathan was in really bad shape. I had a mental conversation with Jonathan stating that I understood why he was so angry with his mother for not being there for him, for his father dying and leaving him alone and that he had reason to be angry with the world. I understood his anger with his mother for not loving him because she herself was like a little girl who couldn’t be there for him. He had every reason to be angry with the world. I told him that he had two choices: Stay and heal it with love in his heart, or leave and be in Spirit. I told him that either option was fine. It was up to him. I left the hospital with the feeling that he would not be alive the next time I came in. I arrived on Monday to a great surprise of him looking much better and with more of his family with him than I had ever seen.

One Friday Jonathan was in really bad shape. I had a mental conversation with Jonathan. I told him that I understood why he was so angry with his mother for not being there for him, for his father leaving and that he had reason to be angry with the world. He felt anger that his mother didn’t love him because she herself was like a little girl so couldn’t be there for him, and that his father died and left him. He had every reason to be angry with the world. I told him that he had two choices: Stay and heal it with love in his heart, or leave and be in Spirit. I told him that either option was fine. It was up to him. I left the hospital with the feeling that he would not be alive the next time I came in. I arrived on Monday to a great surprise of him looking much better and with more of his family with him than I had ever seen.

Over the following months, Jonathan became a different young man, one who smiled, talked, and was open. He did EFT with me every time I came in. He used the TappyBear too when no one was around. I tapped with his sisters and his mother and with him about his healing, about his hurts and wounds, and each of their hurts. I saw that what Jonathan wanted more than anything in life was to feel loved. By doing EFT he released many of his blocks to receiving love.

Jonathan looked truly happy and content as he left the hospital that last time I saw him. His eyes had a look of peace in them. Just before he left he told one of the other mothers that he felt good, at peace, and he was ok, but he knew his body could not recover. Even when I first met him, he was in palliative treatments as his body had not been responding to any treatment for many months. Even though Jonathan passed away a few months later, he gained something so important, grand, and incredible: he passed on feeling at peace instead of being angry with the world; he created a healing within himself and his family, one that allowed him to feel their love, the one thing he wanted most in life. That gift will live on for a long time.

Bless you Jonathan for being such a wonderful soul. I thank you for teaching me that I may not always succeed in helping the children heal themselves of cancer, but that something grander may come of it, healing of the heart and soul.

I send blessings and love to Samantha and Honorio now that they have passed on. I have been honored to know them both.

Samantha changed from an angry, frustrated young girl prone to temper tantrums to one who freely smiled and laughed even during her treatments. I am so blessed to have received her loving hug as my last experience with her. I’m happy to report that she was surrounded by her family in a loving environment as she left.

Honorio lived with cancer for 9 years. He did so gracefully and in a calm way. This gentle soul handled his suffering without complaint and even left in a gentle way.

I would love of these children to live until they are old and gray but I also recognize the wisdom in leaving body when it is their time. My desire is to help these children live as long as it best for them in ways that allow them to feel good, and help them leave gracefully because it is also their right to go peacefully. I would like to help each child have an improved quality of life whether short or long.

Sweet Samantha

Wouldn’t it be wonderful, if every Children’s cancer unit, had a Deborah Miller to give this sense of peace and hope?
Sylvia Ross

I received this beautiful comment from Sylvia and I thank her very much for sharing it with me. It touches my heart that others also feel the need for this emotional support for kids in hospitals.

Sylvia stated my goal perfectly: Let’s give children in hospitals around the world a sense of peace and hope. I would like to set up programs like the one I have in Oaxaca in other hospitals. I’m willing to teach others how to do so in a hospital setting in a way that is respectful of all involved and is complementary to the treatments received.

Please help me do so by helping me find “hospitals” in the US or Canada (to begin with) in which I can set up a Complementary Program like I’ve done in Oaxaca, Mexico. Help me create all the materials, audios, videos and more by giving a donation from the heart; no matter how big or small it makes a difference. If you some talent that you’d like to share that could support this project, let me know. Donate a TappyBear that I can give to a child who desperately is seeking a way to feel better. These are simple ways in which to make sure that children can find peace and hope in face of a serious illness like cancer. You too can make a huge difference with a simple gesture.

(Donate buttons are on the right side of the blog page)

I’m creating Tapping with Kids videos to help kids with cancer tap on their issues.

I need some help with the overall costs of making these videos. Any donations, large or small, towards creating these Tapping Videos that will help so many kids deal with cancer, would be greatly appreciated by me and the kids.

Leo wants to be one of the stars in my videos. Help me make sure he is a STAR.

Click on the Donate to Kids with Cancer button on the right side of this blog if you feel a heart-felt desire to help me in this video portion of the project.

Leo

Johana, a 1 1/2 year old sweetie with leukemia, received a TappyBear. Her mom told me that she perks up every time she sees me because she knows I’m the lady who taps with the bear. She thinks of me as the TappyBear lady. I love that. I think it is a great title.

The day of this photo, she asked her mom to pick her up so that she could come say hi to me. Even though this photo doesn’t show it, it was the first time I saw this child smile. Ahh, what a delight.

Even children as young as Johana appreciate the attention and care that comes from Tapping and a TappyBear.

p.s. You’ve go to love the eyes on this child.

Johana

The nurses from oncology and pediatrics asked me to tap with them. I was so honored and pleased because they recognize the value of tapping to help them deal with the incredibly busy work schedule they have.

We found an empty hospital room, gathered up some chairs and stools, and these eight nurses began to tap with me.

The topics they chose were “stress”, “work stress”, and “being tired” since they are on their feet all day, constantly moving, dealing with the children and their families, and then beyond that have to complete all the paperwork for each patient. We tapped, laughed, joked and released the stress.

It was a short session but the difference it made was obvious. They shared how their backs, necks, and feet felt refreshed. They felt calmer and more relaxed. Those few minutes allowed them to go back to work with more energy and a smile on their faces.

Now imagine if nurses in hospitals all over the world were tapping. Wouldn’t the results be amazing? Nurses, I’m ready to teach you how.